Have Faith
by Sam-453
Summary: chapter 3 up Cross with angel(for a while) the First approaches Faith in jail, looking for a new right hand gal...
1. Default Chapter

I wrote this ages ago, before i'd seen the end of season seven. I didn't know if they were gonna bring Faith back, as a major Faith fan, I knew how pissed I'd be if they left Faith out, even though she was obviously a major part of the whole first thing. Anyway, cos of that, I decided to write a possible way for her to come into it. It's not very good… but I thought I'd post it anyway. So… review if u read it, and I'll post the rest, maybe write more if u guys like it.

Have Faith

A prison, LA.

The girl pummelled the punch bag harder than ever before, something was coming. She could feel it, whether she liked to admit it or not, it was still inside her, and it was still her calling. Even in here, she could sense that the world was wrong, very wrong. The balance was upset, in a very bad way.

            "Times up Faith. Lets go." The guard called from the door. The girl caught the bag on its next swing, stopping it. She looked annoyed, but didn't argue. She walked towards the door, unwrapping the strips of cloth tied around her fists. "You ok?" the guard asked.

            "Yeh." She answered with a faint smile, "Five by five." The guard escorted her back to her cell, whitch didn't entail more than walking beside her, he knew she wouldn't fight. He looked side ways at her.

            "You needn't work yourself so hard all the time girly." She looked up at him in question. "I don't know the details of what got you here. I know it was bad. But I also know you're not."

            "I could surprise you." She murmured.

            "Na. I know you've done bad shit. But I can see in your eyes how you feel about that, and I know you turned yourself in. You're sorry for what you did."

            "I still killed people." she sighed, leaning against the wall by her cell. "No amount of sorrow can take that fact away. I killed in cold blood, an' I revelled in it."

            "It's more complicated than that. Your eyes tell more than you realise." She looked suspiciously at him, and he laughed. "That's not what I meant. I'm not like that an' you know it." Faith smiled at him, a real smile.

            "I know. I'm just paranoid. Evil does that to you. Look, I'm beat, can we carry this on tomorrow?" The guard nodded, opening the door.

            "Don't let the bed bugs bite." He joked as she slipped in. Then he turned his head suddenly.

            "What?" Faith asked, leaning back out. "D'you hear something?" she looked at him. "Jake? Jacob!" he looked back.

            "Sorry, yeah, I think I heard a yell." 

Faith stepped right out, looking in the same direction.

            "I don't see anyone." She shrugged, and went back in, closing the door. Jacob finally shook off the feeling and turned the key in the lock; just as Faith saw a shaped loom up behind him. "Jacob!" she yelled. He spun round, to see a cloaked figure, mere metres away. "Open the door." Faith urged. "Jacob, open it, now!" he fumbled with the keys, knowing that he was no match for the long, blood soaked knife in the figures hand. 

"Come on, come on…" Faith urged. Jacob couldn't find the right key, and in his panic, he dropped them. "Jake, come on, man!" 

But it was too late. The figure picked the man up by his shoulder, and Faiths scream was louder than his as the knife sank right through him. "Jake!!" Faith stumbled back across the cell, slamming her back against the wall, trying to get as far away form the door as possible. As her breath quickened, and her heart thumped faster and faster, a voice spoke up in her head. _What are you doing, coward? Fight them. That's what you do. That's what you are! But I can't! I can't hurt anyone else! You let them kill Jacob. I can't, I can't…_ The door opened slowly, the figure filling the way, flanked by several more. Faith pressed herself against the back wall, knowing she was in the worst possible situation for a fight. Her eyes shifted to the blood dripping from the knife, and she swallowed. _These are bad guys fool. They just killed Jacob._ She looked carefully at the leading figure as he stood in the doorway, and as he moved his head slightly, she saw his face in a beam of light, and the slow chant of _I can't hurt anyone else, I won't, I won't…_ stopped dead, cos these weren't people. So when they finally advanced, Faith fought hard. She ran straight at the leader, catching him with a kick to the midriff before he could make a move with the knife. He tumbled backwards, taking his fellows with him, like dominoes. She leapt over them, getting out of the cell, only to see more blocking both ways. The dominoes were soon back up, and angry. They advanced once more, and she fought, but there were just too many. She soon found herself held tight by two of them, an arm each. She was unable to move, and a stirring in one of the lines made her freeze. Through the ranks of cloaked 'men' a small blond emerged, smiling. Faith shook her head in disbelief. "B?" she gasped.

            "Hey there killer." The blonde cooed, "Why are you fighting? I thought you liked this sort of thing?" 

Faith shook her head,

            "No. You couldn't, you didn't do this."

            "Yes. I did. Join me, Faith. We're better than other people, remember? We can be more powerful than anyone, I know it's what you want." She was slowly making her way towards Faith, almost seductively.

            "No I don't. I not like that anymore, B. An' you're not like that. This isn't you…" she froze again. "This isn't you." She breathed as the girl stood right in front of her. "I can feel it. You aren't her." The blonde now looked very angry.

            "Fine!" she spat, morphing into a huge, cloven-footed vampire. Faith quivered, shaking her head. "You prefer this, little slayer?" It growled.

            "You aren't him. I killed him." But the beast smiled,

            "You're still scared of him though… interesting. Anyway, to business." It morphed into a tall, slim woman. "Does this make you more comfortable Faith?" she smiled. Faith swallowed, desperately trying to hold in the grief she felt at seeing her former watcher once more. "We want you Faith. You can be more powerful than you could ever imagine. You thought the Mayor was powerful? He was nothing compared to me. I'm the first, Faith. The most powerful. And I want you to join me. You could be useful… more useful than you would be dead, anyway. What do you say?" Faith didn't know what to say. Three years ago she'd have jumped at the chance…if she hadn't been in a coma… but now…

            "Did you kill all the guards?" she whispered. Her watcher smiled in satisfaction.

            "Of course, my sweet. All taken care of."

            "Then there is only one answer." Faith said, raising her head to meet those terrible eyes that were not truly hidden by this guise. She grinned wickedly. "Screw you." Faith kicked both legs up, taking out the guys on either side, and the battle recommenced. Over the noise of the fight, Faith heard the first's voice clear in her mind.

            "You can't win, because you don't want to. You've tasted blood. You are mine." 

So she screamed back as she swung fist after fist,

            "Actually, no, the only blood I've ever _tasted_ is my own. 'An sorry to break it to ya, but I don't belong to no one!"

            "You know what I mean, little killer. Join me."

            "Take a hint, bitch!" Faith yelled, throwing another cloaky guy aside. But in that second, a hard blow got threw her defences, knocking her against the wall. While she was winded, another hit her in the stomach, this time lead by the glinting point of the knife. She felt it bury itself inside of her, and she gasped, choking up blood. The knife retreated, and she slid down to the ground, clutching her wound.

            "You see? You can't win. Join me, and you will have the honour of taking the last one. Join us, and you get me." Said Buffy, crouching down beside her. Faith looked up at her, fury evident in her eyes. But the first didn't know what the anger was from. It wasn't that Faith had been beaten; it wasn't even just that she hated the suggestion that she'd like to kill Buffy.

            "How dare you." She growled. "How dare you take her form? Or does it make you feel strong? It doesn't matter if you kill me, because you'll never defeat her. She's stronger than you and you know it. That's why you're here." She spat in the firsts face, but it passed straight through her. Faith stood, stiffly. "Well bring it on then." She said. When the cloaks attacked once more, she didn't waste any time. She just knocked them out of the way and ran, knowing she couldn't survive a full out fight. The First screeched,

            "Kill her!" Faith ran through the corridors, through the doors the first's men had already opened, and out of the building, trying not to look at the bodies strewn across the floor. She ran through the streets, thankful of the bustling crowds that would slow the large group of pursuers. Only thinking of one place she could go, Faith stopped for nothing. Her bare arms freezing in the night air, her breath uneven and stilted, she just ran, until she reached her destination, a grand building that was once a hotel. Crashing through the doors, Faith yelled out,

            "Angel? Angel, please… " Looking around, she saw that no one was there. Her heart sinking, she ran to the only other possibility, the phone. Dialling, she prayed that her former friend still had the same number, it had been over three years. Blood dripped from her soaked clothes as she stood, waiting for an answer. When she'd nearly given up, Faith heard the click of the receiver being picked up,

            "Hello?" a slightly irritated voice said.

            "Buffy? Buffy, please, you have to believe me… I swear I didn't do it…"

            "Faith?" Buffy answered, startled,

            "I swear I didn't kill them!" Faith had lost control. She was sobbing. "I need your help. They're coming… they'll find me…"

            "Slow down. Who? What happened?"

            "Them… I don't know who they are. They just appeared. They killed all the guards Buffy, and everyone's gonna think it was me!"

            "What did they look like?" Buffy seemed ridiculously calm, the sort of calm that only comes when you are scared.

            "Cloaks, no eyes… and then there was …it. It called itself… the first. What does that mean… oh no, no… they're coming…"

            "Faith! Faith, wait! Come to Sunnydale! D'you here me? Faith?" silence on the other end made Buffy's blood run cold. Then she heard the slam of a door, and running feet, lots of running feet, another slam, then silence. 

            "Buffy?" Willow asked, "What happened?" Buffy, slowly lowered the receiver.

            "They came for her. I didn't think they would do that yet. I knew, and I did nothing." Her eyes starred vacantly. No matter how much she'd yelled about it before, she knew that Faith had turned herself in. And deep down, Faith still felt like a sister, like she once almost was. "I did nothing…"

            "Buffy, she might have gotten away. If she managed to get to a phone, then maybe she'll be ok."

            "If not… then I killed her."


	2. Saving Faith

I'm still really not sure that this isn't a load of crap, but you asked me to continue it, so here we go… Chapter 2 

Only minutes later

            "So what do we do then Angel? It's been days now an' there's no sign of it. I hate to say it, but the only clue we have is… oh my god…" The group had just returned to the hotel, to find Wesley and Lorne surveying a bloody scene. "What happened?" Cordy continued.

            "I don't know, I'm afraid, we were checking the perimeter when we heard a commotion. This is what we found when got back in. Angel?" Wesley had noticed that Angel seemed confused about something. "What is it? Is this human?" Angel just nodded.

            "Hey, Angel? What the hell is going on cos I think I've seen enough blood to last me an' several other people a life time!" Gwen quipped, annoyed. She waved a hand in front of Angels face. "Angel? …That's it." She took off a glove, and reached out to him. He dodged just in time.

            "I'm ok, I'm ok, watch it." He frowned. "It's just, it is human, and very familiar." Now Connor piped up,

            "Who, Dad?" Angel walked towards the pool of blood near the counter, registering the trail to the door.

            "Faith." He said.

            "Who?" chorused Connor, Gwen, Gunn, Fred and Lorne.

            "Faith?!" gasped Cordy and Wes. Angel nodded. Wesley continued. "I think she tried to call someone, maybe she came here for help. But isn't she supposed to be in prison?"

            "Yes. Who'd she call? Fred, find out. I'm going after her, call me when you know." Fred nodded, and the others just looked clueless, except Wes and Cordy, of course.

            "Angel, are you sure that's a good idea?" Cordy asked.

            "Yes, Cordy. You didn't see her before. She's a good guy… kind of." Cordy stumbled backwards, grasping her head.

            "Not for long…" she gasped, "Hurry, Angel!"  Angel raced out of the door, grabbing a sword off the wall, and following the trail of blood. Cordy shakily made her way to the couch. The others were shocked at the effect the vision had had on her.

            "Are you ok sugar?" Lorne asked, sitting beside her, "You seen pain before, what's so big that it hit's you like this?" Cordy shook her head slightly,

            "I don't know what it was, something powerful, but that's not it. It's the way she screamed…" everyone looked to Wes, knowing that he was the only other who might know the significance of this. He didn't even notice, he was approaching Cordy,

            "She screamed?" 

Cordy nodded,

            "I knew her well, a while ago," Cordy explained to the others, "We both did, and Angel, and I don't think I ever even saw her scared… but when I saw her, she was screaming and screaming… blood everywhere…I know her…" 

            "Guys?" Fred called over, "I got a number, but I don't recognise it. Maybe Wes or Cordy might?" she gave them the number, and both Wes and Cordy looked shocked. "What?" Fred asked.

            "That's Buffy's number." Wes breathed.

            "So now, little slayer, your time is up. No more pissin' around. It's as simple as life or death, killer. You join me, or you go to hell. You do realise that that's where you'll go, right?" the first smiled evilly at Faith, once more in the form of her ex-watcher. "What will it be? Me, or hell?" Faith breathed deeply, choking a little on blood, then managed to speak,

            "Sorry? I couldn't hear you properly, I just heard 'hell or hell'." She spat a mouthful of blood at the furious apparition. The first made a swift gesture, and two harbingers pinned Faith against the wall that already supported her. Faith winced, and cried out, her eyes widening as she saw the glint of a knife for a fourth time. She wriggled as much as she could, which, granted, was not much, and screamed again as a dark figure swooped down from above her. Prepared for the worst, Faith was astonished when the figure knocked several harbingers flat. He was a whirlwind of fists, feet, and sword, only stopping when the threat was 'neutralised'. An evil laugh floated out of the surrounding shadows,

            "Ooooh, a champion, scary! Good to see you, Angelus." Said Buffy. Angel froze in disbelief. "What's up, lover? Cat got your tongue?"

            "What the hell are you?" Angel snarled, and Faith breathed a sigh of relief as she realised that he too could sense that it wasn't Buffy.

            "Why do you all have to keep ruining my fun?" the First moaned, like a spoilt child. Then she morphed, "Remember me now?" she purred, in the form of Jenny Calendar, "or maybe now?" a victim from Angel's distant past. He stumbled backwards,

            "The First?" 

She grinned at him, then waved, and disappeared.

            "Angel…" Faith gasped. He spun round to her, and crouched beside her where she now lay on the ground. "You have to… gotta…"

            "Don't speak, were gonna get you help." Angel said, scooping her up in his arms. She dug her nails into one of his arms, the biggest gesture she could make. He looked at her, realising she really needed to say something.

            "Must…warn…b,b,buffy…" she gasped, "killing them all…one by one…buffy, warn buffy…" Angel starred at her, hearing the words, but not understanding. He snapped back to reality when his phone rang. Holding Faith up in one strong arm, he answered the phone with the other,

            "Yeh." He said. Wesley answered,

            "It was Buffy. She tried to call Buffy."

            "Yeah, that makes sense." Angel replied, still walking, "I found her, get Lorne to contact some of his mystical friends, anyone with healing powers, pronto."

            "Is she alright?"

            "Just do it." He hung up, put the phone away, and held Faith properly again. Her breathing was raspy, and her pulse very weak. Angel knew she had very little time.

            When Angel burst in, dying girl in his arms, and covered in blood, everyone cleared off the couches to make room, and Gwen grimaced,

            "Oh, lovely." She said. Angel laid Faith down on the couch and called out to Lorne, who entered moments later with three twittering girls in flowing white dresses. They floated across the room, smiling at Angel, and surrounded Faith. One touched her forehead, then nodded at the others, they held out their hands, and began to hum. Lorne gestured for the others to follow him outside.

            "They like to be left alone when they're doing intense stuff. What the hell happened to that girl, Angel eyes?" 

Angel, eyes not leaving the closed door, shook his head.

            "I'm not entirely sure. She was attacked, stabbed at least three times, it's a miracle she's still alive." Cordy looked at him disbelievingly,

            "She's Faith, Angel. She survived a knife in the gut and a drop from the top of a building." Angel tore his eyes away to look at Cordy,

            "Yeah, well she was then in a coma for several months. We can't afford that now." He looked back towards the doors, "They will be able to help her, right?" he asked Lorne; it was a plea. Lorne nodded,

            "There ain't an injury I've seen that they haven't been able to deal with, plus she is a slayer, isn't she?" Angel looked back again, sharply. Lorne shrugged, "The humming, they were channelling their power into her, and her vibe came back out, I couldn't help myself."

Angel then nodded,

            "Yeah, she's a slayer, don't ask me to explain how there's two." 

Cordy interrupted,

            "Technically there should be three." Everyone but Wes and Angel was confused again. Gwen waved both hands at them,

            "Hello? Lost again. Slayer? As in the rock band?" 

Cordy rolled her eyes, that joke was getting very old. Much to Angel's surprise, Cordy rolled off the 'chosen one' speech without a hitch, and continued to explain the basics of Faith's story. 

            "So… she's a nut job?" Gwen summarised. Angel now intervened.

            "No. She went off track for a while, but she's cool now. Trust me."

            "Are you sure? If that's true, then why is she out of the prison? How do you know those people you saved her from weren't the good guys?" Wesley demanded. Angel turned on him, furious,

            "I know! Ok? She hated herself for what she did! She turned herself in, damn it! And you didn't see those guys… the thing that attacked Faith is pure evil Wesley. It's called 'The First'."

            "I for one know he's right." Cordy said quietly, in a way that made everyone look to her. "I felt that thing in my vision. I felt it's power, and I felt Faith's fear. It takes a lot to scare someone like Faith. She didn't leave the prison because she wanted to escape, she was running for her life…" she stumbled, putting a hand to her head. Connor supported her,

            "What do you see?" he asked, as a tear trickled down her cheek.

            "So many people… it had them all killed… all the guards… everyone thinks it was Faith!" Despite Lorne's warning, they all rushed inside, to the office, where they turned on the TV. A news reporter was standing in front of the LA jail Faith had been in.

            _The exact circumstances are unknown, but it appears that the young woman attacked her guard on the way back to her cell after a training session, then used his keys to get out, killing everyone she saw on the way. Only the first guard is still alive, barely, and is not yet able to speak. Internal security cameras cut out moments before the attack, but outside ones show the girl fleeing the scene, covered in blood. What is uncertain is who these people accompanying her are. They were not seen entering, and have left no trace of identification._

A short video clip showed Faith running down the front steps, clearly limping and clutching her stomach, drenched, as the woman had said, in blood. She was soon followed by the harbingers.

            "Are they blind!" exclaimed Cordy. "Could it be any more obvious that she was injured and being _chased_?" Wesley shook his head,

            "As far as they know, she could have been shot by a guard in self defence. That story makes a lot more sense than a load of men in cloaks…"

            "Harbingers." Angel offered,

            "Harbingers breaking into the jail, killing everyone and letting her out, to then chase her. Even we don't know what really happened. Let's just hope that guard survives."

            "He'll be fine." Said a sweet voice from behind them. They all spun to see one of the sisters in the doorway. "In fact, he just woke up." They all turned back to the TV as the woman continued to speak.

            The survivor has regained consciousness, and it appears that the turn of events is very different than how it seemed. The guard claims that he was just locking the prisoner in when he heard a yell. Then he tried to unlock the door again, as a sinister figure appeared in the corridor and attacked him. He insists that the girl had nothing to do with the attack and was actually trying to help him. He was left for dead, but heard the following events. He says that he heard a fight, and feared they had also attacked the girl. Then he heard many different voices, that all appeared to be the same person. The police say that he has not been able to say much more, but keeps repeating 'they stabbed her, oh god, they got her'. It is still not clear if he really heard all he did, it is possible that he was hallucinating due to blood loss, but at closer inspection of the video tape, it is possible that the girl was fleeing the robed men, not the prison. It is still, however imperative that you contact the police if you see these mysterious men, or this girl. 

A picture of Faith was shown on the screen, and the story changed. Fred turned off TV, and they all turned back to the white sister, who smiled.

            "She is healing." She said, and turned away. Angel and Cordy followed her to Faith's side. The girl was very pale, but her breathing was steadier. Where her vest top had been lifted up, four scars marked her bloodied skin.

            "God." Cordy breathed, kneeling beside her. "She was stabbed four times?"

            "No." one of the sisters answered. "This one was already there." She pointed to the faintest of the scars and Cordy realised where it was from.

            "Oh." She said, wincing. She stood, and disappeared for a minute, returning with a bowl of water and a flannel. She began carefully wiping the blood away from Faith's face and neck. She smoothed back her tangled hair too, all with the gentlest possible touch. Angel stood back, then had a thought. He returned to the office to speak to Wesley.

            "Did you speak to Buffy?" he asked. Wesley shook his head.

            "I thought I should wait for you." Angel nodded, and reached for the phone.

A while later, Faith began to stir, feeling a warm dampness on her forehead, and noticing that nothing hurt as badly as it had before. She opened her eyes, groggily, and looked around. She was in a large bedroom, in a very soft bed, someone had changed her clothes she noted, and as she tried to move, she realised that someone was leaning on the bed. A girl with short dark hair was sitting in the chair beside the bed. Her head, facing away from Faith, was resting on her folded arms, on the edge of the bed. Faith sat up carefully, trying not to wake her, and felt a pain in her stomach. 

            "Urgh!" she couldn't prevent the cry that the pain pulled from her. Cordy sat up with a start.

            "Faith. You're awake." She stated the obvious.

            "Cordy?" Faith asked. "Oh, I dig your hair." 

Cordy smiled, and nodded.

            "How do you feel?" she asked, propping up the pillows so that Faith could sit more comfortably.

            "Ok, considering… What happened? I think I passed out." 

Cordy laughed shortly.

            "Yeah, you did. Angel bought you back here and some of Lorne's friend worked their mojo on you."

            "Lorne?" Faith winced as she tried to move again. Cordy pushed her back,

            "Don't try to get up yet. They said it would take a while." As if she had just remembered what had happened, Faiths eyes widened suddenly,

            "No! I can't stay here! They'll find me. I have to move. Have to tell Buffy. I have to." She tried to get up, and crumpled to the floor. Cordy rushed to her side, and helped her back into bed.

            "It's ok. You'll be safe here. And Buffy already knows. Hell, she knows more than us."  Hearing the yelling, Angel had raced up the stairs, closely followed by Gwen. He burst into the room, causing Cordy to jump.

            "Everything ok?" he asked. Cordy nodded, and Angel realised that Faith was awake, and sitting up.

            "Are you ok?" he asked her, quieter now. She nodded,

            "Thank you." She said solemnly. Gwen surveyed the girl from a distance. She'd heard just about everything there was to hear about her, but this weak figure before her didn't fit the description. At that moment, Faith raised her eyes to meet Gwen's. Gwen was shocked by the strength she now saw therein, strength… and pain. Angel saw the connection and gestured for Gwen to enter.

            "This is Gwen." He told Faith. Faith nodded to the other girl, sensing power within her too. 

            "Angel, I have to get to Sunnydale. Buffy said to go there… I used your phone, I hope you don't mind." 

Now Angel laughed,

            "That's ok, and I know that's what she wants, we talked. There's something huge going down. This thing, 'The First' has had its harbingers killing the entire slayer bloodline. All the potential slayers. There aren't many left now. Seems Buffy didn't think they'd come after you yet. She was really shaken, Faith. She thought they were meant to take out all the potentials, then move on to you an' her…"

            "I know. It said that it got bored of going after them, that Buffy was making it difficult… I think it meant Buffy. Said it decided to get me while I was still locked up, an easy target I guess… it tried to… it said I was evil, Angel… it wanted me to join it, said that was my place…" She hung her head, as if she were ashamed,

            "But you said no…apparently." He smiled, and his lip quirked,

            "Yeah. But if it thought…" Faith argued. Gwen spoke for the first time, interrupting Faith,

            "Even if I don't know much about this good an' evil crap, the way I see it, it doesn't matter what that bitch thought, or could feel from your past. What matters is that you said 'no'. you were very obviously faced with total protection under its wing, or death, and you picked death, rather than join it. That's what proves what's inside you, that's what I think anyway." Faith smiled at the stranger, a rare, and real, smile. 

            "Thanks." She said.

Later, after Faith had had a slightly wobbly shower and changed into some clothes she borrowed off Gwen, (Gwen fetched them from her apartment, sensing that Faith would be more comfortable in the sort of thing she wore rather than anything from either Cordy or Fred's wardrobes.) and she'd been introduced to the many new (and some green) faces, the group were all sitting in the lobby, discussing the next move.

            "Obviously this is something big." Gunn said of the first, "but it's not like we don't already have our hands full. You have noticed the major lack of sunlight, right?" Angel rolled his eyes,

            "Don't start, ok? I know this is big too, but this First is powerful, and I agree with Buffy that Faith should be in Sunnydale as soon as possible." Faith tried to interrupt, but he continued, "And you're not in any state to be tangling with those guys on your own! Some one will have to go with you."

            "I'm not a kid, Angel."

            "I know that, but you very recently got stabbed, in case you forgot, three times!"

            "We need all the help we can get right here, Angel." Gunn insisted

            "He's right y'know." Agreed Wes,

            "On for god's sake, I'll do it." They all turned to Gwen, who'd been listening in silence. "I don't understand half the stuff you're talkin' about anyway, an' you were doing just fine before I came. Plus I have a bike, much better for out-stripping bad guys."

            "But…" Angel couldn't actually think of an argument, he wanted Gwen here, that was all. She raised her eyebrows, waiting for his retort, but it never came.

            "That ok with you?" she asked Faith, who nodded. Gwen was one of the few people here that Faith thought she might be able to survive the two hour drive with. "Great. When do we leave?" she smiled at Faith as the slayer stood up, shakily. Faith took a couple of steps, then her legs gave way again. Connor caught her before she hit the floor, amazing, she thought.

            "I'm thinking just as soon as you can stand without that happening." It took her a couple of seconds to realise that it was Connor and not Angel who had said this. Why do I get the feeling that Connor is very like Angel? Faith thought abstractly. She thanked Connor and sat down again.

            "I'll be ok in no time." She grinned.


	3. Understanding

Ok, I know its been a very long time, but someone requested an update, so here u go. But I'm still not convinced that this isn't crap. It just never came out the way I thought it. Oh well, if u like it, that's cool with me… as long as u review!! 

Chapter 3

Faith was right. A couple of hours later, she and Gwen were speeding down the highway, heading for Sunnydale. A couple of Harbingers had tried to stop them just inside of LA, but got quite a shock when the bike racing towards them sped up instead of slowing down. Faith now agreed with Gwen, the bike was much better for dealing with bad guys.

Hanging tight to the girl in front of her, Faith was deep in thought about the many things she and Gwen had spoken of during the hours before their departure. Faith wondered what it would be like to be unable to really touch anyone, ever. Sure, she'd had a screwy life, it hadn't been exactly peachy before she became the slayer, but even in her worst days, she'd had someone to turn to, even if it was a stranger, just for one night, she'd been able to make the connection. Gwen couldn't. She hadn't been able to her whole life. She killed a boy before she was ten years old without even meaning to. Faith did know what that felt like, Buffy had once described it perfectly, so perfectly that it terrified Faith even more- like something sick crawled inside of you… Faith felt that Gwen was one person she could really relate to, someone she could be friends with, if they survived the months to come. It was going to be tough, Faith knew that much already. It was like an actual taste in the air, a sound beyond sound, something beyond real description that ensured that she just knew, and she knew that Buffy could feel it too.

Sunnydale

            "Buffy? Are you alright?" Willow finally stopped her friend's pacing.

            "Yeah. I'm fine." She laughed slightly, "Five by five." 

Willow let out an annoyed breath.

            "Don't."

            "Don't what, Will?" Buffy snapped.

            "Don't act like you are. You asked Faith to come. She needs to be here, cos her life is at stake as much as anyone's, and it sounds to me like she's already been hurt real bad. She turned down the offer of the first's right hand gal, Buffy. She's proved herself, what more do you want?!" Buffy looked at her friend in disbelief.

            "You think that that's what this is about? You think I'm worried that maybe she's not on our side? How dumb and heartless do you think I am, Will? I've felt what she felt, I've had the dreams I'm pretty sure she's had, and I've heard what she turned down. From the second I heard her voice on the phone I haven't doubted her, Will! What I'm worried about is the fact that last time I saw her, I was totally unreasonable. I was the bitch. Plus what just happened to her was my fault! I knew it was coming and I didn't warn her! I just sat back and let it come! Her blood is on my hands! Again!! What I'm worried about is whether she will ever be able to forgive me, not the other way round." Buffy slumped down on the couch, her shocked friend beside her.

            "I'm sorry." She gasped, "God, Buffy, I'm so sorry." 

Dawn stood silently in the doorway, knowing she couldn't help, but ready to if she was needed, that's what sister's are for, right?

A couple of hours later, everyone tensed at the sound of an impatient knocking on the door. Buffy rushed to answer it, to see a girl that she hated to admit she'd missed terribly, being supported by a girl in tight clothing and long silky gloves, who she could only presume was 'Gwen'. She ushered them in, unable to help a broad welcoming smile, and helped Faith to the couch.

            "She's still weak." Gwen said.

            "I'm fine." Faith insisted, although everyone could clearly see that she was not.

            "Hi, I'm Buffy." Buffy began, holding her hand out to Gwen, who shook it with a surprisingly strong grip, and answered,

            "I figured. I'm Gwen." Buffy nodded, then introduced Willow, Xander, Anya, Dawn, Giles, and the Slayerettes. Gwen raised her eyebrows as she realised that this demon fighting faction was in fact even larger than Angel's. Now Buffy turned to Faith, and leaning down, to everyone's surprise, hugged her, and after a slight hesitation, got a hug back.

            "It's good to see you again." Buffy smiled. It was the simple truth. The recent events had sent her far beyond her usual habit of concealing awkward emotions.

            "You too." Faith replied, tentatively, with a wry smile. She looked at the others, but found her gaze dropping, she couldn't meet their eyes, for fear of loathing. She was ashamed, and had no idea how she was supposed to stay here, knowing that everyone hated her. What happened next shocked more than just Faith. Dawn stepped forward and hugged Faith too.

            "It's so good to have you back." Dawn said, utterly sincere. As she pulled away, Faith found that she could in fact meet Dawns eyes, and read in them the two different meanings of her words. Faiths heart warmed in a way it hadn't for a long time. Willow and Xander still hung back, and Anya didn't know Faith, so was not interested. What Faith did not realise was that neither Willow nor Xander hung back out of disgust or hatred, like she thought.

            Buffy explained the entire 'first' situation, including Spike's kidnap and rescue. Faith didn't seem too confused about them worrying about a vampire, and Buffy made a mental note to ask her why later. By now it was getting late, and much to her annoyance, Dawn was sent to bed. The Slayerettes followed suit, some of them still feeling the effects of jetlag. Buffy decided to patrol, and Xander insisted on accompanying her. Gwen joined them, eager for a fight, and Anya went along out of sheer boredom, leaving Willow and Faith alone.

            Faith sat watching TV, but not actually seeing any of it. Her mind was too full of everything that was happening, but the TV was an excuse to avoid conversation problems with Will. This strategy collapsed, however, when Willow switched off the TV to get Faiths attention, and she didn't notice.

            "Err, Faith?" Willow ventured, waving a hand in front of her eyes. Faith jumped,

            "What?" 

Willow chuckled, "You were miles away." She said. She sat beside Faith, who had become quiet again, looking down as before. "Are you OK?" Willow asked.

            "Angel's healy friends did a good job, I'll be…"

            "That's not what I meant." Willow said softly, placing one hand on Faith's, comfortingly. Again, Faith was shocked, and her eyes flew up to meet eyes very different from those she remembered. They were harder, stronger, sadder. Then it hit her. Where's whatshername, Tara? Another look in those eyes answered the question.

            "I'm sorry." Faith whispered, and though few people would, Willow understood what she was referring to.

            "Don't avoid the question." Willow smiled, not wanting to get onto the subject of Tara. "Are you ok?" Faith sighed now, wondering what had happened to change Willow so much, and to make her accept Faith so easily.

            "I'm alright." She conceded. "It's just weird. I know people don't want me here. An' I just feel so out of place, like one wrong move will… I dunno… I'm scared, I guess." Willow too was shocked. Faith had never been this open with her before.

            "We want you here. An' everyone's scared. As for the other stuff… I know how you feel." 

            "Some how I don't think you do Will…"

            "Trust me." Willow said forcefully, and Faith couldn't help but meet her eyes again. She gasped.

            "What happened? What do you mean?" now, as she answered, Willow could not meet Faith's intense gaze. 

            "I killed people." she whispered. "I hurt… everyone. I tried to…" she laughed shortly, bitterly, "I tried to destroy the world." Faith couldn't help but laugh. Willow watched her disbelievingly, but, as they say, laughter is infectious. Willow cracked up.

            "You?" Faith gasped, "You tried to…sorry… sorry." 

            "No, s'ok, I understand. It sounds dumb, huh?"

            "So what the hell happened, then?" 

Willow's laughter died away.

            "I… when Tara was killed, I couldn't bring her back… so I flipped. I wanted revenge so desperately. I didn't have Tara, so nothing else mattered… the magicks took over. I killed the guy who killed her, and hurt all of these guys… then I absorbed the power Giles had been given by a coven in England… there was so much… I could feel everything!! All the pain… so I decided to stop it."

            "Shit Will." Faith breathed. "I'm so sorry." Willow just shrugged. Then she noticed an odd look on Faith's face. A look that said she knew more of what Willow was feeling than she'd said, and not because she knew the guilt of taking human life.

            "What?" Willow asked. Faith laughed a little. It had been a long time since she'd been around anyone who cared enough to actually read her.

            "It's… I just hadn't realised that was you."

            "What do you mean?"

            "I felt it." Faith said, her eyes vacant. "I felt it, and I saw some of it… slayer dreams I guess. They never did make much sense…but I felt the pain, Will. So… I understand." Willow was shocked.

            "You mean… you still had slayer dreams? Even in there?"

            "I don't think the powers really care where you are. Yeah I had them."

            "But you couldn't do anything."

            "Nope."

            "Didn't that drive you crazy?" 

Faith laughed again.

            "A little late for that isn't it?"

            "Faith…"

            "The first time I had one, it was about something in the prison. I tried to tell them, but they wouldn't listen. When this girl died… they were so freaked. One of the guards tried to pin it on me, cos I knew it was gonna happen. But there was no way I coulda, so they decided it was fluke, and that I was crazy, cos that made more sense than me just knowing. I was forced into therapy for a coupla weeks, and after that… well, I knew telling would do no good, so I just… coped."

            "I'm sorry." Willow said quietly. For a minute, neither of them spoke. They'd each found new levels in their former friend, and it opened their eyes to things they'd never considered before. Willow had always known that Faith went over to the mayors side because she couldn't take the responsibility of being the good guy, but the amount of pain bottled with in the slayer had never occurred to her.

And Faith had never realised that Willow had it in her to do those things. Or more… that she was strong enough to come back from it.

            "Sooo… lotsa mini slayers, huh?" Faith grinned, "Lots of Dawns."

            "Uh-huh. If you weren't crazy before, you will be after a few days with them."

            "Hey!"

            "You said it before!" Willow countered. But Faith smiled. It had been even longer since she'd been able to joke with someone like that. It felt good. It felt very good.


End file.
